LeadSister.com Forums

I found this interesting. In an old magazine interview from 1973, Richard is quoted as saying this:
"My ideal girl has got to be a knockout to look at, with natural beauty. I hate lots of makeup. She's got to be slim; I usually go for girls with long hair, and I'm kinda partial to blondes."

I wonder if these comments could have been kind of painful for Karen, considering how much she adored and idolized Richard, and wanted his constant approval. In her mind, she wasn't a knockout, didn't have natural beauty (though we ALL know better), and was not slim (and obviously not blonde). It wonder if Richard's taste in girlfriends might have only driven home to her the misconceived notion that she was unattractive or undesirable...

I may be reading way too much into this (I usually do), but it did get me wondering. Thoughts?
Jena

Maybe. Logically you know your brother is not looking at you that way (ie as a potential marriage partner ), but negative comments when you are young do hurt, especially if they are from someone you love and respect. I do remember getting upset when my brother told me I was fat, ugly and that no one would want to marry me (and no one has... he was right, even though I am not fat any more).

Note that Richard did wind up marrying a blonde who was slim and pretty - he got what he wanted!


Carrie

Karen Carpenter is definitely the most BEAUTIFUL woman that EVER lived. She was also more beautiful than just looks. Her personality was very attractive. She seemed like a fun, upbeat person who knew how to make a person feel good.

I don't know what she thought about Richard's comments, but I'm sure she didn't mind. Alot of guys voice their opinions on their taste in women. That's just what many guys do. I doubt it made any impact on her at all.

May I have the envelope please... and the prize in the category of "Most NOKS afflicted" goes to...

I have no idea if Karen was affected in a negative way by Richard's comments, but it's certainly possible. Karen also had a list of attributes that she wanted in a potential mate, didn't she? I wonder what Richard thought, if anything, about that?
Edited by Murray, 20 August 2007 - 06:53 PM.

Haha, is it really that evident that I'm diagnosed? haha

This is a really interesting topic! For what it's worth, I agree with Jena, I think that a sibling's opinion of the perfect person can impact one's perception of self. Richard's checklist was purely based on physical appearance, and that's disappointing. I know that subtle comments made around my home about other people's appearance/weight contributed to my body image issues. Just growing up around that kind of attitude can really mess with someone's head. Four out of five of us Kingma kids ended up with eating disorders of some kind... it can't be a coincidence. I don't "blame" Richard for his comments, nor do I blame him for any part of Karen's anorexia, but I do think this kind of thinking was a factor in the development of Karen's illness.

Exactly my thoughts, Lindakron. My sister and I both ended up with eating disorders, also, and I know that we picked up some pretty skewed attitudes toward body image from our upbringing (no shame on mom and dad, just an insight!). I just think that Karen respected Richard so much (too much, if that's possible) and his opinion meant the world to her, and so if image was something she was especially vulnerable and tender about (which we know she was, although Richard may not have known to what degree), then these sorts of comments may have had an ill effect.

But as always, I'm only playing armchair psychologist. Next, please...

Good point, Murray... But here's the thing: her entire list of requirements, if you think about it, described... Richard!!

It's quite clear that Richard's opinion meant the world to Karen. Just think of her reluctance to record the solo album. She needed his blessing, or she wouldn't have done it at all.

Yeah, she was a great sister, the lead sister!

She cared about what Richard thought. I'm sure looking back Richard treasures that, especially.

I agree. I think she was looking for someone just like Richard.

No fair!!!!! Where is the last half of Richard's comment?

Do you know when Richard answered this?
I read this back in '70s. It may be not the same magazine as yours. When A&M England planned some event with Carpenters & Miss World or someone, and looks like Karen and Richard were told that Miss America was going to London or somewhere at the same time with Carpenters' visit to England.

Richard comment about personality might be longer than one about figure.

When Japanese TV crew visit Carpenters or Richard, they nicely said Good evening in Japanese!!
I read that Richard gave nice comments about many Japanese keyboards when Japanese keyboad magazine writer interviewed him.
When NHK and TV Tokyo visited Richard's house, he showed us old SONY and played demo tape with the SONY for Japanese audience.
How nice Richard is!?

Sakura

Was Karen jealous because she couldn't find a perfect Mr. Right herself? (I mean she had boyfriends yes, but how long were their relationships?)

yes...I agree a lot!!!! Egven 100 pills and 50 injections won't be enough to control his NOKS!!!

I'm proud of you